This is a test of your Confederated Emergency Rap Session.
We’re activating this circuit to explain that Sam is still living at his parents house
And has agreed to not ruckus
temporarily
in order to keep the fragile peace that abides when his ornery ass goes home to Ma.
Ma hates a ruckus in her house. She feels like there are other places for that kind of thing.
I’ve never known Pa to object except on Ma’s account, which most often appears to suffice.
Jewish Moms, maties. They’re like Italians but without the martyrdom complex.
Making them one tiiiiiiny sliver of a sigma less devious, along that dimension.
No one does disappointment like a Jewish Momma though. That’s the crown jewel of that
particular matriarchy.
“You should’ve banged a doctor, Son”
deep, long suffering sigh.
“I did, Mama.”
sniff.
“You could’ve banged her harder, is all I’m saying”
“Ma. If this is about the ring so help me”
“What about that nice lawyer shiksa you were shtupping”
“Ma. That was eight years ago”
“I’m just saying what if acting doesn’t work out? Your father and I we’re not getting any younger
“And since you brought it up, that ring is from”
“The Old Country, Ma. I know. So’s the silver. I get it. One suitcase each”
“She’s a golddigger, Son. She’ll use you for your diamonds and sleep around. I know those hussies”
“Mother. I am trying to use the Internet”
Pa enters, makes himself a snack. He may be smirking slightly
“The doctor, she was nice? What was her name?”
“You could translate it as ‘high class’, your highness. I’ll be having a smoke now, thankyewverymuch”
“There’s this nice girl in my knitting circle….”
aaaaaaaaannnnnnd
scene.
Gaussian Meaning 